Hello Hello again, it's been a while, I know. What happened, and what is up with that title, after all these years of living somewhere else???In fact it is almost 11 years now that I left Germany to live somewhere else. And here I am, planning to move back to the home country.I am still in Spain. We got through the major lockdown in spring which was horrible and at the same time beautiful for me. After a few days of solitary confinement in my apartment in the village I moved to the yoga center and we had a little community, nature to spend time outside, and basically a whole hotel to ourselves! Jumps into the cold salt water pool in the morning, meditations and yoga, movie nights. We continued to work in different fields, but only 25 hours a week, and I felt like this is how life should be. I didn't miss going somewhere else at all, I was perfectly happy being in the here and now and to just BE.But then we opened again, and slowly started working again and getting guests.
My plans of going to Portugal had died of course, so I stayed in Spain and took on my old job again.Then in late summer I got the message that my grandmother had fallen and was in hospital. I am very close to my grandparents, who are 91 and 92 years old. It seemed she would not be able to go back home in her condition so they might need to move to a care home. So I booked a flight and went to Germany, stayed almost 4 weeks and helped my sister sorting things finding a care home, supporting my granddad who was at home alone during that time.It made me realise that my family needed way more support in these days, and that I also wanted to spend more time with my grandparents in their last years. I had wanted change anyway, and the situation in Spain wasn't looking great, and I had no other plans, so I decided to move back to Germany. Which after 11 years almost feels like a new adventure. When I had been in September it felt good and right to be there, for the first time since I had left. So once again I follow my intuition.It's gonna be a big change for sure! I still haven't decided if I will fly or drive, and especially in these days traveling is not the easiest of course. I will have to quarantine and so on, but hopefully then I can soon find a new work and settle a bit. It's an adventure and it feels good.So sometimes living somewhere else means taking the road home for a while.We shall see.
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So it is day 4 (or 6, as nobody really know when it officially started) of the lockdown in Spain. People are only allowed to leave their houses to buy food, quickly let their dog take a shit or go to (essential) work. My work wasn't essential so I stay home.
Easy I thought for an introvert like me, and actually not much has changed in my daily routine. Except that I really really really miss going out for a walk in nature. And visiting loved ones. Great time to write a book, get creative, start an online business, or discover the laws of gravity - but to be honest, having too much time at hands never really worked for me. I get my best ideas when I am busy doing something else and don't have time. It is different practising a hobby like playing the ukulele in your spare free time, or when your whole day is spare free time. Some of my friends say it's not that bad but they actually either go to work (and meet other people there), or work from home, or have a baby. Trust me, I wish I would have gotten me a dog when there was still a chance. Now my only joy is going to the supermarket and buy a different item each day (which I actually don't do). I lost my appetite despite still exercising so maybe it's a great time for a juice or water fast. I should really not complain. I try to think of Nelson Mandela or Anne Frank or anyone who had to stay in solitary confinement for months on end - without Netflix, whatsapp and Facebook (although that actually might have been a blessing). So this might sound darker than it actually is. It feels a bit like being sick at home. You're allowed to take a hot bath in the middle of the day, curl up for hours on the couch watching movies, sleep as long as you want. It is a reset for the body and the mind and the planet. So whatever comes out of this, I trust it will be good. I don't know what will happen afterwards. My new job in Portugal is on hold obviously, and for now I can only apply for unemployment money here in Spain. But many people will be in a dire financial situation. Prado is still standing strong and is in good spirit (as much as I hear since I hardly leave the house and cant even see neighbors from my roof terrace). But we have very few cases down here in Andalusia. Many theories around this virus, and I guess we will never know the full truth unfortunately, but just stay safe and sane and don't believe everything the media says. Here I was joking a couple of days ago that if it would come to a lockdown in Spain, I would take it as the ultimate sign that I should not leave Prado.
When I first quit my job, my car broke down whenever I wanted to drive to a different place for a job interview, and eventually it completely died. I was stuck in Prado. Now that I am about to leave again... Coronavirus lockdown. So I guess I should take it as a sign. Settle down in Prado for the rest of my life. So far there is no panic around here. The supermarkets are still full, the people still on the street. Caution but no panic. I love these people so much. We look after each other now. Luckily Andalusia hasn't been hit as hard as the area of Madrid so far. Let's hope it stays that way. It's gonna have a pretty bad effect on the economy though. Autonomos (self-employed people) are pleading to get an exemption from paying the (high) taxes as they wont have income. The holiday industry is taking a big hit as many people cancel. As schools are closed, parents have to stay at home to look after the kids and can't work. It is a strange time but I woudn't want to be anywhere else in the world. Prado is my home and has my heart. Now to figure out what will happen to my Portugal plans. Obviousy this won't last forever so eventually I will go there, and I am still looking forward to it. For now 2 weeks in a different state of Prado. Praying that everybody stays safe. I kinda did it before but I want to do it again, now that I am leaving (might still come back sometime). An ode to Prado del Rey, the loveliest village in the world.
When I arrived here in November 2013, everything was new. I moved to a lovely yoga retreat center that was still kinda in it's beginnings. The center is situated between the town Villamartin and the village (well, its a small town of 6000 inhabitants) Prado del Rey. I didn't know anybody, and actually on my first day off I walked all the way to Villamartin, which is about 12 km away (compared to Prado which is 6 km away). What a mistake, haha! Villamartin has nothing to offer really. But Prado caught my heart (as everybody's else's). This village knows how to have a good time. Not only it is very cute and pretty with it's many lemon and orange trees in almost every street (so that many houses have their own lemon tree in front to the door, and my favorite thing in the whole world is coming out with this long grabbing stick and pick the lemons fresh from the tree. The oranges are bitter oranges so they are not sweet but mainly for decoration purpose. At the end of season they are harvested and collected to make bitter orange marmelade though. That's when the streets get bloked and oranges are rolling down the hills). Yes, it is very hilly in Prado del Rey. It is a bit like a mini San Francisco, and driving and parking on the narrow and sometimes very steep streets had been a challenge for me at first. The views from the hills are amazing though. The rolling hills with olive trees, sheep on the green fields, and the always blue blue sky, together with the white houses and yellow and orange from the lemons and oranges.... it's so beautiful! Prado has 6000 inhabitants but everything you need. Little old-fashioned supermarkets with tiny aisles where you can still pay your bill next time you come (chalk it up? Is that the right epxression?), plenty of mechanics, fully crammed up hardware stores... and the bars. Of course the bars. Ok, so the rumour is that Prado has the highest bar to inhabitant ratio in Spain. And I think that is true. Prado people (like most Spanish people) love to go out, meet with family and friends in a bar and drink their cafelito (coffee), wine, beer and Gin Tonic. At any day of the week, at any time of the year (heat lamps in winter). It's cheap and usually you get a little tapa with your drink, so it's perfect! And even the cheapest wine of the supermarket is usually still good. But Prado also has it's own winery! You can get a little tour and try all their (again, cheap) wines and they are just amazing! So the bar most of the foreigners go to is La Esquina de Carmen, run by Manolo, who is such a friendly guy. He is known for not only serving massive plates (steak with fried egg, croquetas, half a pineapple on the side, fries, salad and something else he finds in his kitchen for example), but also the most amazing (and free!) tapas plates once he knows you and your tips (usually Spanish people don't tip much, so Manolo knows we foreigners like to tip generously, but in reality we get way more for our money). The Gin Tonics come in glasses bigger than a fish bowl and some days the waiter waits for you to say stop while he is pouring. Then there is the Irish Pub which is a really cozy place, with a big Gin Tonic menu to chose from all sorts of Gins and Tonic waters, plus they have Guiness. But there are many many other bars, and sometimes it is fun just to explore some other places. For one Christmas kitchen staff outing, we went bar hopping to only bars we haven't been yet, and it was such good fun, to see these tiny old men's bars where the old guys escape to from their wives to watch football and have a beer. We had many a good night out in Prado! And many hangovers, too, but it was usually worth it. There are even some small discotheques in Prado, like El Tauro, a tiny space with a dancefloor that changes colour. Despite it's many bars and everybody drinking, never in my 6+ years here did I experience really drunk people in the streets behaving badly, or any violence or whatever. Usually the people sit in the bars forever, slowly sipping along their beer and wine, with some tapas, so everybody is in a great mood but hardly ever drunk. Of course there are the usual suspects, and there are some that seem always drunk, but even they only chat to you in a sweet way (drunk Andaluz is a different language to understand though). Which brings me to the characters of the town. Yes of course, there are some strange folks, like some that are mentally disabled. But they are fully involved in town life, and not hidden away (of course I don't know about the hidden away cases). There is Javi for example, who goes around and shakes everybody's hands (especially men's) or gives you a hug, or asks for a cigarette. The people of Prado are nothing but sweet and friendly and mostly open to us foreigners. In the beginning of the yoga center I heard rumours that people thought it was a cult, and that there were naked women running around the pool etc. Prado is still pretty old-fashioned. Many people here are over 60, as there are not many jobs around. They go to church on Sundays, clean the pavement in front of their house, and generally had no idea about yoga for example. BUT one yoga teacher from America who came to Suryalila for a while, started a yoga on donation class in Prado - and it was packed from the start! Even though he was teaching in English and most of them didn't understand him. Which brings me to the next part of my Prado love because as I am writing this, I am hearing the people cheering and fireworks going off, as the runners from the 100 mile run enter Prado. Prado loves it's sports and activities! Every year there is the 100 mile run from Prado to Ronda, which is a beast of an ultra marathon! (And a big part of me right now really wants to do it next year listening to the cheering. The whole atmosphere just gives me goose bumps, the runners started yesterday at 18:00 and now it is 11:00!). It's not only a massive distance but also pretty hilly. In my first year here I participated in the Travesia, another yearly event. It is a 66km hike from Prado to Grazalema, a little town in the mountains. It took us about 16 hours or so and it was such an amazing feeling coming back into Prado, and the band is playing, and people are standing in the streets, cheering you on! The next day I was so tired though, I was a bit too fast on my scooter on the dirt road, hit a bump, fell off and broke my shoulder, but that is another story). There are plenty of gorgeous hikes in the area, just alone the walk to the yoga center from Prado is stunning. Lush green fields and hills and pine trees, brown cows and bulls and horses. IN April and May nature explodes and there is wild flowers everywhere (best time to come!), until in August and September everything gets pretty dry and brown. It does get hot here in summer. And cold in winter. It doesn't have the mild moderate climate like the Costa del Sol, but it has the beauty of very few expats ;) The closest beaches are at the Costa de la Luz, and again, so much more beautiful than the Costa del Sol! It is the original Spanish part of Andalusia, not full of tourists. You can surf in El Palmar and Tarifa, and Cadiz is such a beautiful town, only 1 hour away. Also Seville and Jerez de la Frontera are only about 1 hour away, and amazing cities! I love Seville! Flamenco dancers in the streets, the massive cathedral, the orange trees, the riverside.... Also Cordba is not too far away and very beautiful. Around Prado are other sweet mountain villages, with beautiful hikes in nature. It is super near to the National Park of Grazalema, with it's untouched nature. You can see eagles, or go paragliding with vultures. El Bosque and Grazalema are famous for the nature and hikes. You can also climb the highest mountain of the region, El Torreon (1600 m). It is soooo silent up there! Then there are many other festivals and ferias and almost every weekend there is something celebrated in Prado. The big ones are the Romeria in May, when the whole village dresses up in the traditional flamenco dresses and caballero suits and gets on their horses. Groups of friends and family decorate several wagons (gipsy style), where they sit in with drinks, food and music, and which are pulled by cars or tractors. This whole procession makes it way outside of Prado to a field some kilometers away where a big party with music and more drinks happens all afternoon. In July there is the Velada, where the whole town parties for almost a week all.night.long. If you happen to live near the square, you better find a different sleeping spot during that time (or you go out and party). Then there are medieval festivals, where everyone dresses up like in those old times, and the whole town gets decorated with straw in the streets. Or the soup festival, where people cook different soups and hand it out. The crazy car weekend where people build their crazy little karts and drive down the hills. The honey fair with the local honey companies showing their products. It is so inclusive, the old folks and the kids are together. It is how life is supposed to be. Elderly people are respected and not hidden away, but having a great time with special dance parties and dinners just for them. During the day they often sit in the sun on the square, chatting along with their old friends and watching the children play. Everybody watches after each other. I had neighbors bring me tomatoes or other produce from their garden, and more than one of them telling me that I can always come to them if I needed something. They thought it was sad I was living all alone here with no family. Here the family visits them often and takes care. I always wished I could transport my grandparents here for their last years in life. Prado is like a beautiful big elderly home. How could I forget! New year's eve!! The time when people from all over the region come to Prado because of course also on this special day, Prado has it's own unique way to celebrate. The whole town dresses up in costumes (they also do this on Halloween or Carneval, but not as much as on New Year's). The costumes are super creative and groups of friends chose a topic. I have seen soo many crazy costumes here, it is the best New Year's Eve party in the world! Everybody meets on the square at midnight and eats their grapes and then just parties on till the morning. It literally is all about fun here and having a good time! It is the simple life, yes, but it is the better life! Hard work, and then enjoying life. Man etc why do i want to leave Simple life, little money but massive heart and enjoy socialising Howdy! I haven't written in quite a while...
So what happened since I came back from my lil travel around the world? Not too much. Back to the regular life in paradise :) Until August last year, when I knew I needed something to change. I just didn't quite know what. So in classic Caroline style, I quit my job anyway. Took my time to figure out a few things. Did a little ecobuilding (and realised as a celiac I should not work with strawbales), had a lovely time at the beach, worked for 2 weeks in a veggie place in Tarifa, waited tables for 3 weeks in the neighbor village, spend a fortune on trying to fix my car until it finally died on me, went on hikes in the mountains and finally started working in the new juice bar/cafe of my old work place. Walking and running 6 km to work every day so I am definitely in great shape :) And finally decided it was time to check out Portugal. So now in April I will move to Central Portugal and cook in a beautiful yoga retreat center. Will keep you posted! It's been 6,5 years here in Spain and I will miss it for sure...it has been a very healing time for me and this place is simply magical and I am so proud to have been part of this whole thing <3
I wonder why he rather films my leg tattoo instead of the actual act of getting my chin over the bar :D oh well
Have you ever felt such overwhelming happiness and bliss and gratitude for your life?
I feel it a lot here, and I swear, this is a magical place (maybe just for me). The view from my balcony in the mornings and evenings, the light above the rolling hills, the many birds in the sky, it cracks my heart open every time and makes me feel endlessly happy and grateful for living this dream. This feels like home base. This is the place I want to live for the rest of my life. So when I go traveling now, I will probably encounter many many other beautiful places, lush tropical beaches, jungles, cool cities. But THIS is my heart-home. Where I will always return to. I am so grateful this morning. Blessed to the bone. Photo found on Pinterest When living and working in a yoga retreat center, chances are you are surrounded by 99.9 % women. Which can be lovely (women power! Female sacred sisterhood!) but it can also be a plain nightmare. Too many vaginas that all get in sync with their cycle - do I have to say more?
Common topics in our all-female kitchen are breast tenderness, men, pregnancy tests, lack of men, male genitals and how they compare to carrots, cucumbers and courgettes, female genitals and how they compare to ripe figs, men, the lack of men.... I don't quite believe this is just happening in our kitchen, I think it's a kitchen thing world-wide. Cooking has such sensual vibes to it, that it seems very natural to exchange about sex practices, favorite shags, and how long it has been since your last time. But in our kitchen the lack of men is sometimes overwhelming. I often catch myself glancing out of the window to see a hot dude from behind, getting all excited - until I realize it's our same old maintenance guy. Anything male catches our attention, and the few men that are actually working here, must be in absolute paradise. They are surrounded by young beautiful women, many of them yoga chicks, in their teeny weeny yoga tops and leggings, lush hair, and bendy bodies, often topless at the pool. It is no wonder that Spanish people think our yoga center is a cult, or a mystic heavenly place full of willing half-naked women. Somebody had told us just recently that he got asked by a Spanish mechanic from the neighbor town about the work here, and that he heard that there are lots of women running around naked on the lawn - no wonder he was asking if we had any open job positions. Well, for a girl working here, especially one that is not a skinny super young yoga bunny, it can be a bit daunting at time, with all that female energy. Our lovely shop keeper for example is taking it to the next level, by giving menstrual cycle workshops, and selling yoni eggs and vag necklaces in the shop. There is even a book where you can have a look at the different types of fannies that nature has ever produced. Don't get me wrong, I think this all has it's place, and it is wonderful empowering women about their feminity and their yonis and all. But I even catch myself labeling leftover roasted vegetables as "Roast Vag". Sometimes all you need is simply - cock! Have you ever made that mad move, and changed something substantial in your life? Moved to another country, quit a job, left a partner, went on a long travel. Chances are you felt a bit uncomfortable at first. Change makes us feel insecure and quite fragile. Which is probably why I remember so well the first moments of any changes in my life, the first days at a new place. I am a natural worrier (thanks genes) and a melancholic soul, so with changes comes always the feeling of missing what I had. Already before the big change I start feeling uneasy because suddenly I see all the good things in my life, ignoring the rest which made me want to change. BUT here is the secret (probably not so much a secret at all): Change is good! 99.9 % of the time, changes are great. Yes, you lose some good things - but Newsflash! The world is full of other good things!! For example, if I would have never left my first place in Spain where I lived and worked for 2 years and which I absolutely loved (especially since I was coming from grey Germany where I had hated 99.9 %), if I had never left (because I couldn't ignore my heart much longer who in the last months there was telling me something was rotten) - I would have never ended up in a much more beautiful place (where I live and work right now). If I had never left my beloved cat in Italy (broke my heart but he is living with a good friend and has a fabulous life in the Italian countryside), I would have never lived in Malaysia, would have never met the amazing people I met, and would have never launched my own healthy food line. Change is not always for the better, but usually there is something good, no matter what we do or where we go. The world is full of beauty. And still, change feels uncomfortable. Which is why I advise everybody to still go for it. Feeling the fear and doing it anyway is the best way of growing, learning and becoming more resilient. And resilience is something we all need more. Because one thing in life is for sure - Change. Nothing stays the same forever, loved ones leave or die, money comes and goes, and also you will change, get older and one day might get sick and, yes, you will die, too. As funny as it sounds but the realization that we all gonna die one day, helped me immensely with my depression. Don't take life too seriously, Caroline. Nobody gets out of here alive. This is why it is good to get used to change. You cannot hold onto anything anyway. Nothing really belongs to you. Not even this body and the air you are breathing. What a freedom! Some of my favorite quotes: If you never say goodbye to the best things in your life, there are things you don't appreciate at all. Once we commit ourselves to doing it, we change. We change ourselves from just sitting on the fence thinking about it to actually jumping in the field making a mad dash or a slow walk. When we get beyond that bend in the road, we see opportunities that we didn't see while sitting on the fence. We see opportunities that we couldn't have imagined. Easy Choices, Hard Life. Hard Choices, Easy Life. 2 weeks ago we had our farewell party for Tamzin, my best friend here and flatmate of 1,5 years. We planned an epic party on our massive roof terrace and invited everybody we know (which basically means half the village). The afternoon before the party, we were busy bringing all the stuff up to the roof, chairs and cushions, food and drinks. We had a cable roll for the stereo, and then the door got slammed close from the wind, with the cable in between - and it was stuck!! Even though the key was in the lock, we couldn't open the door anymore, so we were locked outside in the staircase, 2 hours before the first guests would arrive. Since we were also in our underwear, all sweaty and dusty (since it was still bloody hot), we had a minor problem here. While I was contemplating letting myself down with my hammock hanging over the edge of the roof terrace and then á la Tarzan (or Jane) swinging myself over to our balcony, Tam luckily had her phone with her, so we called our emergency guy from the yoga center - our good soul whenever we are in need with broken cars, accidents or cats that needed feeding. But he was having a meeting and was not able to come soon! Last chance we had was to call one of Tamzin's new friends from the community yoga classes she teaches, a Spanish fireman from the village - who would be better to open a locked door??
He came immediately to help the (dusty, dirty and half-naked) damsels in distress, and was indeed able to open the door - what a hero! We quickly finished the last decoration and hopped under the shower, when the door bell rang - already!? Well, I guess we had mentioned something like we would start to party around 6 PM - but since nobody in Spain comes in time, we had expected the first guests earliest around 8! But no, I was still wrapped in my towel, and the first guest was at our door at 6:15 PM :) (Of course she was not Spanish, but French, and luckily she didn't mind waiting a bit until Tam and I were ready and made up. It was a great evening and night, so many people and friends came, Tamzin had made an awesome playlist, and even better margaritas, and everybody had a great time. Then it was performance time. 2 friends of Suryalila were playing "Home" on Harmonium and Ukulele, and I had practiced a little piece on the guitar about my "chocho". The night continued with more drinks, more music and more dancing (including limbo) until at 5 AM the police was standing at our roof terrace. While Tamzin just made a comment about the hilarious hair of one of the officers, they seriously took my ID number. But Prado being a party town, it was not really an issue. The Monday after Tam and I went on a little vacation to the beach. Our new colleague at work owns an apartment in Benalmádena, directly at the beach, which she generously offered to us! Driving down to the coast it was raining! The first rain in ages! But that couldn't stop us. We sipped cocktails at the beach, and went from one happy hour to the next, until we danced at night along the beach making our way back to the apartment, hugging and screaming "I love my chocho!" (oh dear). The next day we had to get up at 7 AM because I had a super early appointment in Málaga to order me a new passport at the German embassy. My new passport photos, taken at the embassy, hungover, on an empty stomach, might not be the prettiest sight I will have to look at now every time I check in at an airport ;) On the way back we visited the Stupa in Benalmadena and had a late lunch in Marbella before heading home - it was lovely. Now Tamzin is gone, and the apartment feels very empty. I will miss her dearly, and can't wait to see my "chocho" again. |
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